Sunglasses are a tease

For a female sunglass snob, as the sunglasses slip past the bridge of her nose, people disappear; she’s now a walking mystery. The mysteriousness is amplified if she’s wearing all black. People don’t recognize her when she wears them.  She’s free to roam about on her own, protected, hater-free realm in peace and quiet. With sunglasses on, no one can see her eyes—duh, that’s a given.  Think of sunglasses as her real-life black identity protector.  When she’s driving, people won’t actually be able to see who she’s. She looks trendy and “cool.” She’s hung-over.  She can watch people. The snob may wear sunglasses indoors or even at night. 

If she doesn’t have time to put on makeup or she just doesn’t want to – and her face is looking rather gross from being tired, hungover, sick, or a combination of the three – sunglasses can make her looks stylish and cool without having to do anything! If the female is a hideous hag, sunglasses are most likely her best friend, especially if she’s a nice body. The more her sunglasses can hide on her face, the less ugly she’ll look. Bigger is better. Sunglasses have a tint to them that makes things appear darker. And she does. She looks thinner. Her skin looks clear. And her teeth look whiter. So if she’s wearing sunglasses she’ll look better to herself – and if she hangs out with people who also wear Sunglasses, she’ll look better to them too; a win-win situation.

A hungry predator sees a small, juicy meal and then just as it is about to attack, the moth flicks open its wings and flashes huge pair of eye spots which frightens the killer away. Supernormal stimuli used to super-normalize the world around is what people do by wearing high-heeled shoes, cosmetics on the skin, appearing more beautiful or frightening by wearing masks or big dark sunglasses. The super normalization may go beyond body signals into super normalizing other elements in the environment. Spicy foods, bright flowers, soft beds, pillows, mattresses are some examples. Because the female eyes transmit so many important visual signals, it isn’t surprising that they’ve been subjected to various cosmetic improvements. The female desire to emphasize the beauty of their eyes remains as strong today as it did in the times of ancient civilizations. The blatancy of the early 1960s eye makeup was replaced by cunning subtlety creating the ‘innocence of childhood’. Earlier wearing sunglasses was presumed to be a style symbol! Presently eye-shades are considered as an essential accessory, to avoid getting contaminated with chemical pollutants, excessive heat, and light.

For a male monkey, a female is female. He doesn’t consider the comparative beauty of a female of his species. There’re no ugly monkeys. But the human male sees his females both as members of opposite sex and as beauty –rated individuals. His highly developed taxophilic urge invades almost all of his areas of interest, classifying and grading remorselessly as it spreads, and his response to human females is no exception. The result is that a tiny variation in say the tilt of nose or the curve of a cheek can make all the difference between attraction and repulsion. Uncontrolled by the survival compromises that limit the activities of other species, our more outlandish excesses, wildly exciting at first, become garish, lose their appeal and must be replaced. Having exhausted one line of super-normality we switch to another selecting a new element for improvement and dwelling on that until it too has become stale. We ring the changes which give us the very basis of what we call fashion. With fashion trends, a reason for wearing sunglasses, particularly designer sunglasses from high-end fashion brands, sunglasses draw "cool" image and association with a particular lifestyle, maybe the close connection with beach life. Style and following the crowd are two different things when it comes to the body language of sunglasses, style can be an individual effort. Following the crowd is a little different.

Women wear sunglasses on their heads, perhaps, with a feeling of relaxed, youthful/fashionable and ‘cool’. As if she were a super heroine, ditto dressing up and role playing while being a kid, the female loves the appearance that she has two huge eyes with dilated pupils on top of her head, symbolic of a non-threatening effect that the babies and cuddly toys with painted large pupils have on us. As her body language of more confidence changes by using sunglasses, the personification of sunglasses changes the whole persona of the sunglass wearer, completely transforms the looks - just like a new hairstyle. Sunglasses and a great pair of heels can turn most outfits around. From the days of biplanes and silk scarves, the Aviator has been the archetype of masculine glamour. Aviators have personified national ideals, from French élan to Soviet party discipline. They've inspired lust and admiration. They've turned sunglasses and short, utilitarian leather jackets into fashion statements.

Earlier, wearing sunglasses was a privilege limited to explorers, military heroes, and celebrities. Now, of course, even children wear them (for eye health, except perhaps for the children of hipsters), and they’ve become such a fashion statement that they’re second in sales only to cell phones. Sunglasses make people look more attractive; they impose a sense of bone structure which might be missing from your face. You can ‘even out’ your features, make your eyes look bigger or wider apart, make a long face seem more heart-shaped, a round face more square and so on. But beyond this, sunglasses are a tease.  They invite someone looking at you to speculate, to think about what might be going on underneath them. The future of sunglasses is you sitting on a beach not holding an iPad and reading a novel, but you sitting on a beach reading your novel on your high-tech sunglasses. In the meantime, those who break societal norms surrounding shades can expect pushback.

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